The life of a slave…

4 Dec

This is a companion blog to the interview up on Rebecca Joyce’s blog interview ( If you would like to ask any questions about the Master/slave dynamic, feel free to ask them here, there, or email me at I’m always happy to talk about this.

Except, of course, when I haven’t been asked. I’ve been thinking about the question of what do my family and friends think about my lifestyle choices? I’ve heard people say–and I think this is a very sensible answer–that they don’t talk to their family about their sex life, so why would they discuss BDSM, power exchange or polyamory with them? My family is not the kind that will sit down and ask personal questions, so it’s not likely to come up with them. It’s not that I wouldn’t talk to them about it, it’s just that if they aren’t asking, I’m not going to bring it up. I don’t believe in going out in public wearing a leash or rope or handcuffs. I do wear my collar, but it looks like a necklace, so it’s not exactly flaunting anything in anyone’s face.

I know people who like to shock “vanillas” by being blatantly kinky in public. Don’t get me wrong: there are many people who could use having their horizons broadened. I just don’t believe it’s my place to force them to acknowledge my lifestyle. Other people have their own issues, and I prefer not to add to them if I can avoid it. Many lifestylers consider it non-consensual involvement in a scene when you force other people to witness your kink, and I agree. I don’t want to be forced into anybody else’s scene, so I don’t force anyone else into mine.

That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t answer questions or be willing to educate people. I just wouldn’t push them into a chair and make them listen to my philosophies of life. However, I’m more than happy to take requests or suggestions for blog topics that I (or Sir) can write about. Feel free to comment on this blog with your questions!


P.S. – Scroll down for the Hot Winter Nights Blog Hop and chance to win prizes! We’re giving away a copy of The Masters of Falcon’s Fantasies. Watch next week for excerpts from our newest book, tentatively titled Double Dom Fantasies!

One Response to “The life of a slave…”

  1. naughtyeverafter December 4, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    Very well put kasi! I couldn’t agree more if I had written this myself. I think it is rude to involve others non-consensually when the whole point of BDSM is to do things, however edgy or intese, in consentual and negotiated ways. If we as a community start involving others non-consenually into our kinks not only are we hypocritical but are potentially damaging the progress being made by so many, to make our lifestyle choices if not accepted at least tolerated which is the first step on the long road to being recognized as legitimate. Keep up the good work and once more, well said. Reggie

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