The 24/7 Dom mind set

6 Dec

This is a companion blog to the interview up on Rebecca Joyce’s blog interview ( If you would like to ask any questions about the Master/slave dynamic, feel free to ask them here, there, or email me at . I’m always happy to talk about this.

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A friend of ours asked kasi a question the other day that sparked some thoughts on mental states. If I understood her question correctly she was asking how one maintains the dominant mind-set all the time. How one doesn’t let the pressures of life get in the way.

The answer is that they do, everyone is susceptible to the pressures of life and even the best of us have the occational bad day, are sick or tired or distracted or just a day when they are an ass. None of those things are good things to maintain a proper dominant mind-set. Perhaps I should back up a step and define what in my, and only my, opinion makes a good dominant.

I believe that a good dominant is someone who has the self-confidence to make the hard decisions and the personal moral code to deal with the consequences of those decisions and not to sluff the blame to others when the decision goes south. A good dominant is someone who coaches, mentors and aids those who look to them to be better after their association than they were before the relationship. Someone who is able to blend the vision, talents and abilities of those who look to them with their own and have the sum of the total be more than the individual pieces. Some one who can appreciate the service their submissive/slaves gift them with and to provide a coherent direction for that service.

Now these are all high and mighty ideals but they are ideals I hold near and dear and believe in. I personally strive to live by this code and believe that when you set goals, you set them in the stars so that even if you don’t reach them you have still accomplished a great deal. I am not foolish enough to believe that I live up to this personal code every day, I am human and just as likely to stumble when tired, distracted, sick or just having a bad day but even when those things happen I am luck enough to have people who will point this out to me and allow me time to try to correct my behavior.

So, I guess that the real answer to the question would be that the best way to maintain the dominant mindset is to surround yourself with the people who bring out these qualities in yourself. I will now turn the soapbox over to the next speaker, thank you for listening.


4 Responses to “The 24/7 Dom mind set”

  1. Bella Juarez December 6, 2012 at 3:06 pm #

    Thank You, Reggie. As a Dominant (a Domme), I thought You put into words what most good Dominants hold near and dear as every day truths. The fact of the matter is, you are who you are and being Dominant is simply in your wiring. It is your natural persona thus Dominants “think” like that way naturally. A good Dominant, just like any good person, wants what’s best for everyone especially those whose trust they have earned. And, yes, trust is earned not given. To most of Us being a Dominant is no game, it’s real life. A Dominant’s leadership is a huge responsibility and not to be taken lightly because You affect lives every single day with Your decisions. Thank You for putting into words how so many of Us feel.

  2. Nicki Elson December 6, 2012 at 4:07 pm #

    My daughter was just asked to fill out an application for National Honor Society, and leadership is a huge part of getting accepted – much of what you say here was described in the list of traits of a good leader, which is totally what you are, so it’s nice to see that you accept not only the role, but the responsibility that comes with it.

  3. naughtyeverafter December 6, 2012 at 4:11 pm #

    Thanks, it is nice to see that others share this point of view and know that being a dominant or a leader of any sort isn’t about giving commands. It is about accomplishing great things and being a part of something bigger than themselves.

  4. Jennifer Lane December 6, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

    Excellent post. I like what Nicki said about a good Dom being a good leader. It’s important to acknowledge nobody is perfect and to take responsibility for our own actions, regardless of the relationship.

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