It’s all a matter of perspective

28 Mar

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Good morning all-
I want to start by apologizing for not posting more regularly the last month or so. My ladies and I (Yep it’s me, Reggie writing to you this morning) have had a tough couple of weeks lately. Now, I am not one to piss and moan about the unfairness of life but I do want to share what has been going on lately for two reasons. First because it does illustrate, at least to me, the point of today’s blog, that how we react to life is all a matter of perspective. Secondly, it just kind of sucks and politely venting will just make me feel better, but don’t worry it won’t be much.

So, on to the story. Many of you probably only know me as a chainmail jewelry maker and erotic romance author but I have also held a full time job for the last 16 1/2 years in law enforcement. During the course of my career I held just about every special assignment that can be found in the job with the sad exception of SWAT which would have been a kick in the ass. I did all of the normal assignments for patrol including bike patrol, information officer, DUI officer, field training officer, defensive tactics officer (I trained 8 forms of defensive tactics and was a master instructor in 2 of them), then spent 2 1/2 years as a narcotics detective including undercover work (it was 8 years ago, so I’m not jeopardizing any investigations here) and then spent 7 years as a patrol sergeant and another 1 1/2 years as an administrative sergeant running just about every program in the department. I have been awarded numerous commendations and awards over the course of my career and have been brought in as an expert witness on use of force several times.

I mention all of this not to toot my own horn but to show how I conducted myself in the performance of my duties. Like most members of this profession, being a cop was a huge part of who I was. I learned many years ago not to fall into the trap of letting it completely define who you are and actively worked to make as many friends and acquaintances as possible outside of the profession. I tried very hard to keep my real identity and profession separate from my social and extracurricular activities such as vending at fetish events and writing erotic romance novels. Very few knew what the real me did or where I worked, as my chief required. See, I had gone to my chief about 7 years ago when I started my side businesses and explained everything to him so there would be no problems and had his permission to pursue these other business lines in order to make my family’s lives better. It is pretty common for us to work 16 hours a day 7 days a week at least 50 weeks a year. My ladies and I are hard working people.

Anyway, two weeks ago we got home from finishing a run of five shows in five weeks in five states (almost entirely on weekends so it had minimal impact on my day job). I went to work bright and early on Tuesday morning only to be called in to the chief’s office a few hours later. Once there I was informed that the city administrator had gotten a call about a newspaper interview the ladies and I did a month before (all under our pen names and only referencing polyamory which the article was about and our books and jewelry business) and that he had instructed the chief to get rid of me as an embarrassment to the city. So they had pulled my computer history and saw that I had visited Novelrank, MSN, Google and my personal blog and must be doing private business on company time. I was allowed to resign instead of being fired, which I did since I had checked my book sales a few times at work. It is all bullshit but technically a violation. It turned out that the complaint came from inside the department, not from a citizen, since no one ever recognized me in uniform let alone out of it, but that is another story.

So, I was understandably shocked that after giving that much of my life to protecting and serving our community that I would be tossed out like yesterday’s garbage. The ladies and I had a number of long talks and decided that rather then curl up and die, we would try to look at this as the greatest thing to ever happen to us (yep, it is a challenge at least three times a day but you’ve got to push on through, right?). We decided to really kick our chainmail business in the ass and see how many books we could write in the next few months without sacrificing plot or integrity in our stories. A positive mindset can make all things possible and we intend to make that a reality.

For those of you who may not have seen our shiny pretties (no, I meant the jewelry–what were you thinking?) they can be found at or in any one of about 40 stores, gift shops and museums around the country. We are finishing negotiations with three sales reps so far (if anyone knows a good one in the California area let us know, please) who will rep our goodies in seven states in the Midwest and east coast so look for them in your area soon, hope.

Additionally, we just sent in book 4 of the BDSM Ménage Fantasies series through Siren last week and are anxiously waiting to see if Nikki, Kane and Dante will see the light of day. We have started a new series involving a small Colorado mountain town’s Special Operations and Response Team (yep, now we can write about the men and women in blue) that we are going to use to try our hand at self publishing and are in discussion with Omnific for an anthology of stories for the Keyhole Series as well as plotting out the next installment of the Siren books. We plan to be very busy and bring you more of the stories we hope you love. If anyone is looking for guests on their blog or would like to do a spotlight on ours please let us know and if we are in your area hit us up and we’ll do coffee. We love meeting people in person.

So, in these tough economic times our country is facing, if you find yourself in a difficult predicament, remember you are not alone. There are a lot of us out there and these blogs, FB connections and personal contacts can mean the world when you’re having a tough day. Don’t let them win; fight every day for what you know is right. Hang in there and remember these words of wisdom, “I don’t care if the glass is half full, I don’t care if it is half empty. I just want to know who is drinking my damn beer.” LOL!!!! See you all soon and we hope you’re having a great day!


24 Responses to “It’s all a matter of perspective”

  1. Tara Rose March 28, 2013 at 12:16 pm #

    I’m so sorry this happened to you, but I applaud you for talking it through as a family and turning it into a positive outcome. 🙂

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:36 am #

      Thank you Tara, we do appreciate the good thoughts and plan to come through it all in a positive manner.

  2. jenlanebooks March 28, 2013 at 12:29 pm #

    What a shock that this happened, and so unfair. Thank you for keeping people safe for so many years, and thanks to you and the ladies for educating folks about romance!

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:37 am #

      Thanks Jen, that means a lot to all of us. Education plays a big part in our writing and it is nice to know that it is appreciated.

  3. carol March 28, 2013 at 12:35 pm #

    First off congratulation on your positive attitude. I just don’t know what to say about your job. That just makes me so incredibly sad for you, your family, and society in general.

    Best of luck in your new adventures.

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:38 am #

      Thank you Carol for your well wishes, it is appreciated.

  4. Nicki Elson March 28, 2013 at 7:56 pm #

    I’m sorry you all had to work through this thing that’s just so upsetting on many levels. I’m a firm believer that even the suckish things will eventually turn to something good, so it’s awesome to see that you’re already cranking on the good stuff. Seriously, you would not be able to give your business and your books the energy they seem to be calling for right now if you had to share your time with that job. And now your experience will be able to reach out and touch so many more people through the Special Ops series – that’s so exciting!

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:40 am #

      Thanks Nikki, we hope so. We have always stayed away from police characters except in minor roles in an effort to keep my department separate from my writing but now I indulge and hopefully give them the stories they have been calling for us to share with the world. Got to love it when the characters are so anxious to get out.

  5. Cherie Clark March 28, 2013 at 8:51 pm #

    Bravo. I am annoyed on your behalf for how they threw away your experience. They will recognise their mistake and I hope they kick themselves in the arse. I love your Bling and your books they stupidity will be my gain. Chin up and I look forward to the way you will use your service history and knowledge to take me on some wild rides. ((((hugs)))) to you and your ladies.

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:41 am #

      Thanks Cherie, I think you will be pleased. We are hoping to have it out soon, Tim and Monique seem eager to be heard and set loose on the world.

  6. Lori King Books March 28, 2013 at 9:15 pm #

    Well I say, pissdonkey on whoever the schmuck was that is too uptight to realize they just lost a great cop. Way to go for keeping a positive atitude amongst the mud and muck of beauracratic BS. And I can’t wait to buys one of those shiny pretty toys…I mean the necklaces of course! 🙂 We love you guys, and we’re here for you!

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:43 am #

      Thanks Lori, that means a lot. We would love you get you one of the shiny, pretty….toys, lol. You ladies are awesome.

  7. fiona archer March 28, 2013 at 9:32 pm #

    Your positive attitude is to be admired. I believe someone should give thanks to you, Reggie, for the years of service you provided. I’m sure with your plans and kick arse jewelery, you’ll succeed no matter what. Hugs!

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:43 am #

      Thanks Fiona, we appreciate that. We do plan to succeed and show them that they can’t keep us down.

  8. Luna March 28, 2013 at 9:37 pm #

    Reggie, the glass isn’t half full or half empty, the bartender hasn’t finished pouring your pint! 🙂 Keep the positive attitude. (((hugs)))

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 12:44 am #

      Luna, what a fantastic sentiment. I love it and will keep that in mind while telling the stingy bugger to pour faster. Cheers!

  9. Tracey Steinbach March 29, 2013 at 10:16 am #

    *claps loudly* Good for you! I wish you and your ladies much luck!

  10. no1lefthere March 29, 2013 at 10:21 am #

    Complete bull. You three are awesome individuals allowed to have a life outside of work. Im betting everyone, in your now old job, got onto personal sites. Email, facebook it doesnt matter. I am so sorry this happened to you. It shouldnt have. You are not a embarrassment in any way shape or form. Now I will say… with the exclusion of said job, now you will have time to hang out with all of us(yeah, I know Im selfish here lol)

    Chris NoOne

    • naughtyeverafter March 29, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

      Thanks Chris, we do appreciate your support and we look forward to hanging out with all of the RPers as well.

  11. lisacarlton March 30, 2013 at 3:01 pm #

    I am so sorry this has happened to you…..and in the end it is their loss…we need more honest people like yourself to be protecting our streets…..but you will all come out on top….with the positive attitudes nothing can hold you back now…..keep your chin up we are all routing for you

    • naughtyeverafter April 1, 2013 at 8:25 am #

      Thank you Lisa, we agree, there is nothing but up from here and we are reaching for the stars.

  12. Tracey Reid March 31, 2013 at 5:14 pm #

    Ok, so I can’t help putting my lawyer hat on here for a minute…..besides agreeing with all of the outraged sentiments here, I can’t help but believe you have a very strong case for wrongful termination here!!!it is discrimination based on your sexual orientation and it is outrageous (besides just being sickeningly wrong on more than one level!! ). I admire your forbearance in not being bitter, but they stole your opportunity to decide when YOU wanted to make a life change, and for that, I think you deserve more. I hope you are considering your options….if nothing else, the wonderful article that was the basis for the job problem should be followed up with an article about the terrible outcome you have suffered for your generosity in trying to educate people about your beautiful relationship. I wish you all luck and I appreciate your generosity of spirit.

    • naughtyeverafter April 1, 2013 at 8:27 am #

      Thank you Tracey! I agree and have been considering my options but have a feeling that sooner than they expect Karma is going to make itself known. It did suck not getting to decide when I was done but sometimes life gives us an unexpected kick in the ass and tells us to write more so we are. Thanks for your good thoughts!

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