Love at first sight?

13 May

Hello all, Reggie here and today I would like to talk about a topic common to romance writers. That is the debate over love at first sight verse love that grow organically. In our current life style we have a lot of time to talk while driving from one show to the next and I brought this topic up the other day with kasi and eva.

Being the only male in the group I thought I would be the one to have the more practical outlook on the subject, I was wrong. I will freely admit that I do believe in love at first sight. I also believe in love that grows organically through shared thoughts, feelings and experiences. I can say this because I have personally been privileged enough to have both kinds happen to me. I will not say that one is better than the other, nor will I say that one is deeper, longer lasting or more intense than the other. These things are, in my opinion, completely dependent upon the people involved and their intent.

I experienced love at first sight with Treena. The first time I looked into her eyes I knew I would spend the rest of my life loving her no matter what happened between us. We ended up spending the next 35 years together and even though she no longer wishes to be a part of the life style I have created and we are no longer together we still love one another very much. I cannot explain why my feelings for her do not diminish over time or distance. I suspect that they never will.

I have been lucky enough to experience love that grows organically with kasi and eva. I won’t say that there wasn’t an instant attraction to them, there was, but it was different than it was with Treena. The love I share with kasi and eva started with an unexplainable attraction but grew, deepened and strengthened over time. As we talked and learned about one another our love grew. As we accomplished mutual goals our love deepened. As we shared life and experiences together, our love became stronger. As we helped each other through trials and hardship our love became enduring and resilient.

So, having had both kinds of love I believe in their existence. Both are wonderful and make life worth living. I won’t say either is better than the other, just that I am honored to have had partners that let me experience them. Thank you ladies!

I was shocked when both kasi and eva told me that they do not believe in love at first sight. I will begin by saying that I will attempt to explain the points they raised and any errors in the retelling are my fault in possibly not understanding them correctly and not their explanation. Eva explained that she believes that many of the people who think that they have love at first sight are probably really experiencing lust at first sight, an infatuation or a crush and not true love. That we as a whole are conditioned through movies, music and stories to believe in love at first sight when the feelings are often something else that eventually grows into love. Kasi explained that she believes some people are karmically drawn together to accomplish some goal, even if they are not aware of it and can grow into love over time., Both of the ladies told me that even the most intense love can run its course and possible end without it being a bad thing.,

I don’t know if I believe that a love ending isn’t a bad thing but I will take their word on it for now. As romance writers we often have to deal with the subject of whether we will have our characters fall in love immediately and then have to overcome some obstacles that bar their way to happiness or to have them start off at a lesser level and grow to love one another though shared experiences. Both schools of thought leave a lot of room to work plot lines in our stories but which do you like better? Is it better for the characters to share that bolt of magic the first time their gazes meet or does it make for a better story if one character has to pursue the other and convince the object of their desire to love them in return?

I know there is no right answer and that it is case specific but I thought it would make for a great conversation starter. I look forward to hearing what you think and what you have experienced yourself. Just remember what I say in every relationship workshop I lead, there are as many ways to do life as there are people doing it, if it works for those involved, it is the right way. Until next time, have a great day.

 

Reggie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: